Recently, when I’m meeting someone for the first time, I’ve been skipping the whole cordial, turn and say, “Hi,” and give a brief hand-up, palm-open, no-motion wave nonsense.

Because it’s boring. That, and I’m tired of saying, “Oh, nice to meet you,” and then they say, “We have met before,” and having it all go downhill from there. Instead, I’ve been going straight in with my five-pint, “What’s your greatest fear?” routine. But even that’s left me disappointed. Why?

Well, here is a list of legitimate fears: Passport checks. That heartbeat moment when you text something very rude about someone that is meant for someone else but their name begins with the same letter as the exact person you’re being very rude about and, oh no, now you’ve sent it to just about the worst person you could’ve. “Constructive” criticism, those sorts of things. But then one time I asked someone I met this question and their answer was, “Eyes.” Like, what? “They’re gross,” they said. Your biggest fear is seeing the same thing you’re currently using to see it with? I’m sorry, but: No.

Anyway, new Palace edit featuring Chewy Cannon. We’re a touch late to this, but, we haven’t seen anything from Chewy in a minute. And it only takes a little over 120 seconds of footage here to remind us how much we missed him. It starts and ends with a big close-up of an eye, though. So, if you don’t like eyes, don’t use your eyes to watch it. If you’re everyone else, however, yes. Go for it. It’s Chewy and Palace, and das is what it’s all about.

©Wasted Talent Magazine
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